I blame the internet

Sometimes I keep going to that empty well for refreshment. And sometimes I expect people to be that well.

Why should I text them to see how there doing when I can just follow their life on social media. Most of the time, things we post are usually such a small portion of what’s really going on. We mask it all, I mask it. I post pictures of coffee that took me way to long to take a photo of, I post happy stuff. But no one can read that and see the hard day I had. The tears I’m not holding back cause I miss fellowship and circles of friends. No one can scroll thru my insta feed and know that something is wrong. Why? Cause I don’t let them. I’ve said it before, it’s really hard to be vulnerable to my close people, here, not so much. I only ever cry alone mostly or with my mom, my ugly cries are not good for the public. 
But as much as I wish people would know that my response to “how are you?” is pretty fake, I dont’t I look for it in others. I’m sooooo busy with my day to day, that i don’t make an extra effort to be there. Weep with the weeping, pray for the needy, heal with the broken hearts, I give but how much. 

I’m reminded that Jesus is always there, I can’t expect that all my friends will be there, that I’ll always feel welcome or loved...cause I struggle with that. But the best comfort I’ve got is His word that pierces me to the core. It brings me to tears just how special I am to God. 

I’m guilty of holding others to a standard that I don’t even meet. Cause I fail, we all fail, but not my Jesus. Ask the blind man or the thief, there redemption only made possible through the one who was and is and is to come. The giver of hope and promises beyond our wildest dreams. He sees our pain when no one else does and He intercedes for us. A few Monday's ago a Pastor was teaching on prayer and how sometimes we don’t pray because we don’t care. That’s truth. 

My gifting is encouragement and if not practicing my gift and using it for His glory than I’m not gaining the full blessings. The Lord is the one who fulfills that need for encouragement when I pour it out on others. We need to go the the well of living water to refresh those gifts 

Lord help me to care, to love compassionately like you and to receive. 

1 comment

The Garden's Bee said...

The Internet: Creating Impatience.

Not only do we see what we want to see online, we also are creating a generation of people who want "authentic" but don't want to invest. We are being trained to have things in an instant. To be upset about traffic, or having to wait in line to get a cup of coffee. This transfers over into the idea that when we ask someone how they're doing, we want bullet points or the quick placated pleasantry because we don't have the time to "waste" when we have "more important" things to do or see.


We fail to realize that there is nothing new under the sun.

So, aside from prayer, how do we redeem it?

It's fighting back by setting reminders to connect with friends on the phone. It's writing down the hard things people are going through and following up. It's deleting apps that make you feel insecure or inferior in anyway. It's following through even if you don't feel rewarded. It's going against the grain so that integrity and truth and vulnerability can have a chance.

It's also working on the brain, fighting against the demons inside of us that cause us to believe lies, live in fear and anxiety, and not knowing our worth. It's not allowing silence and distance to creep into relationships (two ingredients to any bad relationship).

It's being strong (like you're trying to be this year) to do the things you're scared to do.