Valleys and Mountains

"He's got the whole world in His hands"... including you

Do you ever feel like that doesn't apply to you, that part of the song is just a metaphor and He really doesn't hold us. Welp, I sometimes think that He is holding everything in His hand except me. Like I'm on a boat that is about to go out to the furthest of seas and no one knows or sees and I'm missing out.

I think it's good that you face your emotions and present them to the Lord. I think its healthy to question and wonder and fear for a time... but there should be a time of surrendering too. Sometimes I feel like I've learned my lesson of holding so tightly to what I know. The comfortability of not having to be challenged in trusting God, cause if you never move or change than you never will move or change. I can get so blind sighted by my happiness of the seasons I've been in that I don't see the amazing blessings and growth that could come with allowing God to take me beyond.

It's scary. It's scary to not be in control. To wonder. But it's also really scary to imagine never growing in the Lord and really missing out on all that He has for me.

Confession time. I try to avoid getting hurt as much as I can. I'm only vulnerable to people that I honestly trust won't let me down, and I am blessed that I have a handful of people that I can pray with, weep with, share my crazy feelings and my major frustrations of life. But I can't control when hurt happens and why it does. I wish I could. But that would take the fun out of learning to TRUST the Lord WITH ALL MY HEART. yikes.

I remember when I was younger asking my dad for a bike for Christmas and his answer was maybe. I from then on loathed asking any questions that weren't going to be a solid yes or no. Take out the middle hope and you get a clear answer. Survival mode set in at that age of 10. But, that Christmas, I got a helmet. I looked at that helmet in such confusion and frustration. Like why would I get a helmet, when I really wanted a bike. What good would this helmet do if I didn't have a bike.....and than I was told to close my eyes and wait....and there my dad comes rolling out this beautiful purple mountain bike that was exactly what I wanted and I didn't even know it. I was sooooo distracted and clueless ( the cluelessness has not changed) that I couldn't grasp that the blessing was right around the corner. The real gift was in the other room, but I couldn't see it or get past my hurt.

Now that I'm older, I have tried to avoid the maybe hope. But as much as I dread the maybe. I really dread answers. It can be kinda comical that I will ask things of the Lord and yet fear His answer. I mean I know I'm not alone, but sometimes I feel like I am.

Maybe to me has been this lingering feeling that I do not like. Maybe feels like an open door to rejection, hope, and hurt. I don't consider myself an emotional person, but these past few years the Lord has taken me through some heavy travels where I've had to face my fears, my hurts, my emotions, my dreams, myself. And I have not enjoyed every minute, at times I've wanted to not grow. But that is not healthy physically or spiritually.

So new season, new valley, new issues that I'm presenting to the Lord and asking for direction and clarity and He is asking for my TRUST.

This past Monday at church the Pastor asked if we as the congregation where exhausted. I raised my hand quickly but hesitated to get up and go forward for the surrender and being prayed over. I don't want to miss out on anything the Lord has for me and that has to include the growing pains, the tears, the vulnerability and the rest in His timing.

"Come to ME, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I WILL give you rest" Matthew 11:28

Step one- Go to JESUS
Step two-ask, seek, knock
Step three-surrender, surrender all the outcomes good or bad.
Step four- walk in it. walk through the valley. walk up that mountain. walk in that storm. and know you are NOT ALONE.

All those lies of your not good enough, you don't deserve it, how can you ask God for that, that dream won't come true, give them back to the devil and walk in the TRUTH. If you have forgotten the truth cause its been a long time of believing the lies. Open your bible and ask God to remind you. Cause the fact that that bible is in your hands, declares already that HIS LOVE FOR YOU IS REAL.

Thanks for reading!

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