seasons to weep

 "a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace."
Ecclesiastes 3

Travels on the 91 to riverside were always long and full of traffic just to get to my grandparents house. Weekend visits with my brothers entailed chili cheese fries, Mario Cart, Duck Hunt, Nintendo, coloring books, boxes and boxes full of every color of crayon and of course, a karaoke machine.

My Nanny would share stories of how her and my papa met, she was 15 years old working at a skating rank and my papa was a 22 year old chap stricken with love at first sight, within 2 weeks they were engaged, within a year married and after one year and one day had their first child. My grandparents built there own house back in Detroit. In later years my Papa worked on the Apollo 11 that went up to the moon with His and my dads initials engraved on the rockets. My grandparents shared tragedy, tears, happiness and love for 74 years. 

On July 14, my 96 year old Papa, Henry Charles Leveck passed away. He was such a sweet, hard working, loving husband, father, grand and great grand father. He had the most beautiful eyes and tender heart. His tent was laid to rest and His spirit joined in heaven with Jesus. 

I really don't handle sad news very well, my tendency is to usually push it aside and save it for a rainy day. Which in most cases wouldn't be such a biggy. But going through the loss of my Papa isn't something I really know how to deal with. Grief is a foreign word and I struggle with the process of the emotional roller coaster. I can't help but be reminded that as humans we were not meant for death. This ending of life was not what God had wanted for us. That makes me feel a little better knowing that its alright that my heart aches and is frazzled by the power of death and the power of life. Knowing that Jesus values my life and took my place on that cross, there is no way to repay such pure love. 

"by this we know love, that He laid down His life for us..." 1 John 3:16

Life has so much meaning when I know that God created me to live for and through Him. This season of seeking Jesus, finding my identity in Him, gaining a better understanding of the vast love of God is going to be exciting. I'm thankful that I can lean on Jesus in times of valleys. I'm thankful that Jesus intercedes for us, He knows my pain, my struggles, my thoughts, my heart and my weaknesses.
Thru these past few years I have really desired more of Jesus, but have allowed my identity to be in what I do and not who I do it for. I've been given a time of rest and a time of being poured into. I have hungered and thirsted for God and He has said here Melissa, I made this feast for you, sit, rest and eat. We are all invited to come to the table, to sit with the Creator and to be filled. Jesus has called you to be all in, to forget the old and walk in the new.

He knows my name, He knows my fears and worries, He knows me. He loves me.

I exhort you to rest in Jesus. Whatever you are facing, if it be grief, pain, sickness, lack of joy, misunderstanding of the amazing and pure love God has for you.REST.  The first thing I do when times get tough, I go to the Word of God. The greatest comfort, food to my soul.

"You will keep him in PERFECT peace whose mind is stayed on you, because He loves you." Isaiah 26:3


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