Am I enough?

Recently I have been challenged...

Challenged to either give into my whiney poor me selfish attitude of self loathing or to be genuine with my intentions in all areas. Genuine with Jesus, my desires, my friends, my job, my identity. 

Tonight the Lord used my words to not only encourage a high schooler to have her eyes on Jesus,  but reminded me to also seek HIM. And re thinking what God keeps asking me which is "am I enough?" I almost cried while telling this to a girl because God has been asking me this question. 

Now as a Christian I would most definitely without a doubt say boldly that yes of course You are enough Jesus. But with my sinful and selfish desires I can't be satisfied in my boxed view of what is "the best of the best". I can't possibly imagine what really is good. Because I'm not. My sinful nature has thrashed the view of what the words good, perfect and enough mean. 

Am I enough? God thank you that through my pain, my hurt, my hopes and dreams, my failures and my short comings. You paid that cost, you declared over and over again that I'm enough. 
Those words twisting my thoughts and wrecking my own perception of what is good enough. I am brought to my knees. Humbled. Broken. Torn. Emptied and filled. Because by surrendering myself and all that I am. I can say boldly as a sinner saved by grace, nothing to offer, weird and all that YES. My Jesus is enough. 

It is not easy as a 27 year old single woman who serves Jesus, loves Jesus and wants to be more like Him to not question God's best. It's not easy to set aside the ideal life I should be living according to what I want. But I know that it is worth everything to deny myself and seek Him. The struggles that I face, the fear that I hide in are all teaching me. I'm so thankful that God can use what  I'm  going though to minister to others. And if for some reason God decides to bless me other than the long list I've given Him, I will at some time have to trust that He has a reason and purpose for all things.

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭28‬

I realize that this is not a one time question and answer. But rather a continual life choice of denying my fears of being rejected and living a life full of that fact that I'm chosen. I was, am and will be enough. Sometimes the hardest part about hearing of God's promises are first believing you are worthy of receiving them. 

"In tenderness He sought me,
  Weary and sick with sin,
And on His shoulders brought me
  Into His flock again."

I rejoice knowing that My God has sought me and will continue to seek me. 

"And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you." Psalm‬ ‭9‬:‭10‬

How can I not rejoice with knowing that my Jesus loves me, seeks me, intercedes for me and promises joy in the morning and rest from burdens.

He finds me worthy to die for my sins.  Do you find Him worthy to walk in freedom and allow Him to be your hearts desire? 

Be vulnerable with God. Ask for big things and expect that our big God is able :)

-Mis out 

No comments