Am I there yet?

How many of us just love the word yet?

Oh the food that your starving for isn't ready yet. And the book that you are anxiously awaiting to arrive from your purchase on Amazon is not here yet. And you are not old enough to get a license just YET.

Well, this past year and a half I have heard that word a little too much. Your not getting that car just yet. The timing isn't right to get married just yet. The Lord isn't done refining you just yet. Now it may sound like I am complaining and for the a long time I have had a certain bitterness to the whole wait, be patient and yet words. But one thing the Lord shows me over and over again in my distress and uncertainty is that I must come to the end of myself. YUP...not the easiest, since that would require an act of humbling. I must decrease so that He may increase. When we take up all the room for improvement with our complaints, negativity and self loathing we loose sight of the reason God has us here. We are being continually refined.
How do we stop the bitterness?  Simply to look to Jesus. So easy right. not.

Looking to Jesus to supply all of our needs should be really easy since He says He will take care of us. And after showing us sooooo many times in the bible with example after should be somewhat easy. Its not. Nor will it be...that's because we are in a...I am in a constant fight with my flesh and spirit.

And frankly this past week I have been defiant in my surrendering. See I know that the Lord will take care of me, that He will supply ALL of my needs and HE has got me. BUT. My doubting and disbelief in His power can lead to depression and the place of bitterness. When we are a constant fight with God....just know that you will never win.

"11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
Jeremiah 29:11

The Lord knows the plans that He has for us are GOOD. do you ? 

disbelief is lack of trust and faith. 

Surrendering can become the most uplifting a freeing experience. But you have to be at the end of yourself for God to fully bless you. He still blesses us even when we are blinded by our stupid fleshly desires. He will always bless but the riches will not be the same. 
I confess that sometimes...I enjoy being defiant. I enjoy whining and being dramatic....cause I wear this shirt that says "  I deserve it". I deserve the best of the best to my standards. And you know what if God gave me what I really deserved I would be on my knees every moment begging for forgivness and a changed attitude. But the Lord even in our hardness still bestows grace upon grace upon grace. I man look at Jacob in the OT who literally wrestled with God...he went in thinking he had it all together but ended up limping away because of his own pride. Sometimes, I am a Jacob.

I am a fool for ever thinking that my deepest aches can't be healed and my greatest desires are better than His. For He should be our greatest desire. And when we finally exalt Him to that rightful place in our lives...our desires will match His. 

I'm thankful that God is not done with me YET. 

"And I am sure(certain) of this, that HE who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

But lets not just strive to desire the best He has for us but also believe it. Many people deny there is a God simply cause they can't see it. They are blinded. And I know one of the things that holds me back from fully living a life sought after the Lord is my lack of belief. I doubt a lot. I have an obligation to put actions to my words and start standing in confidence that my Savior is real, that His love for me is true and that He is not done with me yet. 

""But he said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!”"" Luke 11:18

Don't dispair, don't let go of His promises. Cause they are many and glorious :) 

to you peace & joy, 

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